


Homo Flour Sack Babies

by Grymmeoir



Category: South Park
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Crack, M/M, Offensive content
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-25
Updated: 2018-04-25
Packaged: 2019-04-27 18:10:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14431260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Grymmeoir/pseuds/Grymmeoir
Summary: Mr. Garrison develops a new plan to get same-sex marriage banned, Instead of eggs, he's assigning his now teenage class to take care of flour sacks, a weird little fic about teenagers being horrible parents. Pairings are Style, Bunny, Creek and Tyde.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys this isn't a new fanfic or anything, just like Cup of Love this is a cross-post from ff.net, This fic has actually been on hiatus for a couple of years but I decided to continue it and post here. A fair warning that this gets rather offensive, and is chockful of swears and insults...but come on, this is the South Park fandom, you should be used to that kind of stuff.
> 
> By the way, this was originally written around July 2014, basically stuff that happened from season 18 up to 21 doesn't exist here, so please don't point out why Mr. Garrison isn't the president or why Craig and Tweek aren't dating...It wasn't canon yet when I started writing this.

 

It was late morning and Mr. Garrison has yet to arrive, not like anyone wants him to arrive. The eleventh grade students of South Park were pretty bored of Mr. Garrison as he had taught them since third grade and they never really learned anything from him other than his fickle views and opinions.

The class was lively yet relaxed at the same time, everyone was either asleep, talking with friends or playing with their phones, Cartman was the only exception but that's just because he was eating cheesy poofs.

Nothing much has changed since their childhood, their attitude and mannerisms were still very much the same. Well except for the fact that all of them had gone through puberty and some developed new habits such as smoking and drinking.

Seated near the last row was Stan Marsh, who had a bored expression on his face, he was tapping his fingers in a nonsensical rhythm against the table while watching Kyle who had now began to argue with Cartman who had a bunch of orange crumbs on the side of his lips.

Honestly Stan didn't really care about what the two were arguing about but he can't help but stare at his best friend as he shot words after words of hate, It had turned into a hobby for him to stare at Kyle, Everything about Kyle intrigued him, the way he speaks, the way he wears his hat, the way he looks up when you call him…Every time he looks at him, Stan gets lost in a sea of thought. Stan refused to admit his borderline obsession for Kyle and instead refers to it as fascination.

"Dude, what are you staring at?" Kenny spoke up.

The orange clad boy had gently poked Stan at the back of his head with a pencil. Stan who was still staring at the redhead came back to his senses and looked at him.

"Nothing" Stan answered promptly.

Kenny raised an eyebrow at his response then smiled, nodding his head as if he suddenly understood something then he gently pat the back of Stan's back. "It's okay don't worry…I know about it, no need to hide."

"What do you mean?" Stan asked, he had no idea what the hell Kenny was talking about, he might have been high from cheesing, then again Kenny quit Cheesing didn't he?

"Are you sure you want to talk about it here where everyone can hear it? You've got balls Stan…I admire that." Kenny smirked.

"Kenny, I really have no idea what the hell you're talking about, I mean you could be high for all I know and yet I am still talking to you hoping you would make sense."

Before Kenny could answer back Mr. Garrison arrived holding two boxes on top of each other.

"I am sorry if I am late class, I picked up a few things needed for a new project, anyway I want you guys to pair up into twos, anyone will do as long as you're both the same gender."

The class just shrugged and paired each other up, then sat with the person they paired up with. Mr. Garrison smiled at the pairs, the plan he was brewing in his head is going to be foolproof.

"Alright our lesson for the week is parenting; we're going to be taking care of…"

"Mr. Garrison didn't we already had a similar lesson when we were fourth grade? You asked us to take care of eggs remember? And I…"

"Boo, Booooo Wendy, Boooo" Cartman interrupted.

"Oh please, not aga..."

"Boooo Wendy Testaburger, Boooo"

"Will you ever stop doing tha…"

"Boooo Wendy Booo"

"Mr. Garri …."

"Booooo"

Wendy sighed and sat down back to her chair, Oh how she wanted to beat up Cartman…again.

"Are you done?" Mr. Garrison asked unimpressed, these two had been doing this every day for seven years and it really is getting old.

Wendy Hhmphed in response while Cartman just nodded innocently.

"As I was saying…The lesson for the week is parenting, you fuckers are going to take care of flour sacks except that this flour sack doesn't really contain flour it instead contains something else which I will not tell what is, Of course you could always open your flour sack baby if you're really curious but doing so will get you an F. Remember your flour sack must be well taken care of if I ever see holes, cuts, and attempts of opening or if you lose the sack I will no doubt give you an F.

Token then raised his hand, and so Mr. Garrison allowed him to speak up. "So why did we pair up with the same sex? I thought we would be parenting?" he said.

"Well…that's because these flour sack babies are homo flour sack babies, so they belong to homo parents, Mr. Garrison shrugged.

"I thought you said you hated gay people?" Craig deadpanned.

"Yeah, So?" Mr. Garrison said, as he began to distribute the flour sacks to the pairs of students, It was a simple bag of flour...or rather what seems to be flour and was bleached white except for Token's which was a brown sack for some odd reason.

The class shrugged it off, they knew Mr. Garrison was fickle-minded, and besides there's no point in arguing with him.

"Like last time, these sacks have my signature on them so I would know if you ever try to replace it, Go ahead and decorate it however you want, name it, give it a penis I don't care…It’s not like it will last-err uhh I mean...nevermind."

Mr. Garrison soon left the room leaving a bunch of confused 11th graders with sacks of flour or whatever it was as Mr. Garrison never really told them of its true contents.

* * *

 

Two blondes were sat close staring at a weird sack of unknown substance.

"So should our flour sack baby be a boy sack or a girl sack?" Butters asked Kenny, the two had paired up since Butters considers Kenny as his best friend and Kenny who had to pick between Cartman and him immediately chose Butters.

"Eggs, Sack…I bet next time we'll be asked to take care of nuts or balls." Kenny smirked.

"Oh gee, If it's nuts then I hope it's not almonds." Butters fussed.

"You didn't get my joke did you?" Kenny sighed.

"You were telling a joke? Well gee I-I am sorry Kenny, Anyway boy sack or girl sack?" Butters questioned once again.

"Girls don't have sacks, Butters…" Kenny teased.

"S-so it's a boy then?" Butters asked.

"Seriously?" Kenny sighed Butters was far more innocent than he thought but oh fucking well at least he didn't get partnered up with Cartman, no way in hell was he going to raise flour babies with him ugh.

 "Sure Butters, It's a boy."

"Well a-alright then Kenny, What do you want to name him?"

Kenny closed his eyes for a few seconds,trying to think of a good name, he then suddenly opened his eyes as a thought came to him.

"Scrottie." Kenny smiled mischievously.

* * *

 

Clyde was busily drawing a face on his and Token's flour sack baby when he overheard something from the two blondes.

"Dude did you hear that? Kenny and Butters named their flour sack." Clyde said.

"So?" Token asked, he was cutting strings of black yarn which was supposed to be hair for the flour sack.

"We should name ours too!" Clyde grinned excitedly.

Token sighed. "Alright fine, what do you want to name him?"

"Him? No no no, she's obviously a girl! Look at her face it has eyelashes and stuff." Clyde objected.

Token stared at the poorly drawn face of the flour sack. He honestly couldn't decipher where its eyes, nose and mouth are. Clyde has horrible drawing skills, Token thought.

"Dude you suck at drawing…I couldn't tell what gender it is." Token said flatly.

"Oh like you're any better…" Clyde rolled his eyes and crossed his arms.

"Yeah, yeah whatever...So anyway you were planning on naming it?" Token changed subjects, not wanting to hear Clyde's bitching.

"HER! And yes…I am thinking of naming her "Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way" Clyde answered.

"That name is way too fucking long and nonsensical, can't you give it a shorter name?”

"Fine… her name is Ebony."

"Ebony?" Token asked.

"Yes." Clyde said nodding his head.

"Ebony as in black?" Token asked once more.

"Yes." Clyde nodded again.

"I am so going to beat you up into a pulp."

Clyde tilted his head wondering what made Token so angry, he then realized and quickly defended himself. "Dude what the fuck no, It's not like that!"

"Alright, then explain the naming choice."

"I read a pretty awesome story last week and the main character there was named Ebony." *****

"What kind of author uses ebony as a name?" Token asked, raising his eyebrow.

"You should read it dude!"

"Ugh, I'd rather not." Token replied.

* * *

 

Tweek nervously sipped coffee from his thermos as he avoided Craig's gaze, Craig had forced Tweek to pair up with him and it made the blonde feel uneasy, especially since Craig was staring at him like a predator watching his prey. He could feel Craig's eyes scanning over him. What was he thinking? Does he want to kill me? Sacrifice me to the underwear gnomes? These kind of thoughts kept popping up in Tweek's head.

"Oh Jesus, Craig."

"What." Craig answered in a deadpan voice in response.

"Gah! Can you please not stare at me?" Tweek pleaded.

Craig made an annoyed face then shifted his gaze at his and Tweek's flour sack instead.

Tweek twitched and followed Craig's gaze towards their flour sack, which in contrary to the others, had retained its original form. It didn't have any clothes or drawings; it looked just like a plain old sack of flour.

"A-aren't we going to decorate it?" Tweek questioned nervously.

"No."

"W-why?"

"It's plain and boring…just the way I like it." Craig answered.

"Oh uhh…" Tweek nervously shifted. "Can we  a-at l-least name it? I heard everyone named theirs."

Craig looked at Tweek incredulously, then he looked at the sack. He nodded his head.

"Flour Sack." Craig said dully.

"Huh?" Tweek wondered.

"Its name is Flour Sack."

"Oh…" Tweek said, disappointedly. He didn't want to argue with Craig for the fear of getting killed. He wanted to decorate and name it but since Craig didn't allow him to he had no choice. Then again he wanted to name it "Venti" which Tweek then realized in hindsight was a stupid name for a flour sack.

* * *

 

Stan and Kyle had finally finished decorating their flour sack when Cartman went up to them.

"Would either one of you gentlemen fancy a trade?"

"What the fuck are on about. Fatass?" Kyle asked in an annoyed tone.

"I am offering a once in a lifetime trade, you won't regret it!" Cartman offered.

"What kind of trade?" Stan asked, feigning interest.

"Partners." Cartman smiled.

"No way, fatass…" Kyle immediately declined.

"Why do you want to trade partners? Who is it anyway?" Stan queried.

"The new kid... uh Douchebag"

"But isn't Douchebag from the game? He's not here you know." Stan asked.

"Alright fine, I fucking don't have any alright? Cartman admitted.

"Of course you don't have one, no one likes you..." Kyle snapped.

"Shut up, Jew." Cartman snapped back. "Besides I didn't want to partner up and raise a homo flour sack anyway...especially with YOU Kyle" He then walked away from Stan and Kyle and sat back at his table.

"Dude, Fatass is right…who wants to raise flour sacks?" Kyle said.

"I dunno, but if I don't wanna get an F." Stan replied.

"Yeah, I guess. Anyway I am so glad we finally finished decorating this thing." Kyle agreed.

“We should name it.”

"I think I'm going to name it Gorak."Stan stated

"No, dude! We have to name it Steve." Kyle objected

Steve? What the hell kind of name is Steve? That's a stupid name." Stan said.

"Wait…doesn't this situation seem familiar?" Kyle said.

"Y-yeah." Stan nodded.

"You guys should just name it Larry!" Kenny said as he merrily skipped towards the two.

"Larry?" Stan questioned.

"That's kind of…uhh" Kyle muttered.

"I guess that name isn't so bad…" Stan nodded.

"Larry it is." Kyle said.

And thus a dispute between the two friends has been avoided. Stan and Kyle named their flour baby "Larry" and Kenny was happy that no quarrel occurred between the two, especially since he was planning on hooking Stan and Kyle up together, he hated the unresolved sexual tension happening around them, the project Mr. Garrison gave them was a perfect catalyst for his plan. He could see it now; soon those two will be all over each other.

"I am going to be such a good friend/wingman" Kenny thought to himself.

 


	2. Chapter 2

Cartman angrily waited for the whole class to be empty, As soon as the last student left, which happens to be DogPoo, He sprinted towards the desk and eyed Mr. Garrison.

"What the fuck do you want Eric?" Mr. Garrison asked, he was in a bad mood, his plan didn't work out so well because instead of destroying, the students actually grew fond of their flour sacks that they actually did dress it up and named it, everyone reported their flour sacks in perfect condition today, which further annoyed him.

"I refuse to partner up with a guy, I am not some fucking homo." Cartman said bluntly.

"What?"

"You heard what I said! I refuse to partner up what some guy; I am not some fucking dumb homo!" Cartman angrily repeated.

"Dumb Homo…you say? So you hate gays too?" Mr. Garrison asked raising an eyebrow; an idea was beginning to form in his head.

"Only as much as the next guy but hell I aint gay." Cartman pouted.

"Oh well that's too bad, you see…If you were to say however that you hate gays and want them to suffer and ban gay marriage then boy do I have a deal for you."

"What kind of deal?" Cartman asked curiously.

"You just do a little something for me and I'll give an A for all projects and school work…including the flour sack one for the next three weeks."

"As tempting as that offer is Mr. Garrison, I refuse to suck your cock for mere grades."

"NO, you fucking lardass, I need you to do a little saboteur on your classmates!"

"Sabotage huh? Sounds interesting…tell me more." Cartman nodded, smirking evilly at the thought that sabotaging his classmates will get him an A.

"I refuse to tell you more, I mean you clearly don't hate gays as much as I do, and for this task I need someone who hates them as much as I."

"Oh well in that case then…I hate homos and I want them to suffer, they are dumb and gay marriage should be banned!" Cartman yelled out.

Mr. Garrison smiled, placing a palm at Cartman's back. "Alright I see your dedication now, come let me tell you the details of our deal outside."

"Woah…Wait No, I am not going to suck your dick Mr. Garrison...that's gay." Cartman said then immediately moved away from Mr. Garrison.

"Goddamit Eric, I already told you that you're going to help me sabotage your classmates, I am not gay…I hate gays, Why else am I planning to get gay marriage banned?" Mr. Garrison yelled.

"I dunno, maybe because you have pent up feelings of hatred and bitterness towards Mr. Slave and Big Gay Al that you tell yourself you hate gays even though you're gay yourself?" Cartman shrugged.

"Are you going to help me sabotage your classmates or not?" Mr. Garrison asked annoyed.

"Yeah yeah… sure I will, what do you want me to do anyway?"

"I want you to find a way to destroy everyone's flour sack baby before the end of the month, leave no sack alive…I don't care how or in what way you destroy it just make sure everyone's is destroyed." Mr. Garrison explained.

"Wait…So you assigned us a stupid parenting project and now you want it destroyed what for?"

"For the love of…because I want to prove to the governor that gays aren't fit for raising children to get gay marriage banned!" Mr. Garrison angrily said.

"Isn't that the same thing as the one you did years ago? If it failed then…then I am pretty sure it'll fail still." Cartman shrugged. "But anyway I don't care…I get to sabotage those assholes and get an A while doing it."

For a while Mr. Garrison considered what Cartman had said earlier, but since he didn't care anyway then oh well, on with the plan!

"Oh sweet, I can't wait to see that dumbass Jews' face when his stupid flour sack gets destroyed." Cartman grinned evilly already plotting out how to destroy everyone's flour sacks.

* * *

Four boys two of which are carrying a flour sack dressed in baby clothes stood near a certain familiar bus stop, but for some reason instead of the usual four, Cartman was absent and is instead replaced by Butters who was happily singing his trademark Loo loo loo I've got some apples song.

"Dude, Butters, shut up." Stan said.

"Aw gee fellas, can't a guy sing a song while waiting for the bus?" Butters pouted.

"No, it's annoying." Kyle spoke up.

"Come on guys, sure Butters here is annoying but at least he's not Cartman!" Kenny said.

"Well I guess you're right…speaking of which where is that fatass?"

"Beats me, I don't really care at least I don't hear anyone calling me stupid Jew."

"I bet he's still mad about the other day." Stan said.

"What about the other day?" Kenny asked

"He was asking if we wanted to trade partners, of course we refused, he didn't even have one because no one wanted to partner up with him." Stan answered.

"I would have partnered up with h-him, but he's a stupid fatass who always drags me into crazy messes so I declined him." Butters said.

"Yup you're better off with me, and I am better off with you… or anyone else to be honest…" Kenny added patting Butters' back.

"Why do we even still consider him as a friend?"

"I dunno, I think we're turning into masochists." Stan deadpanned.

"Can't we change topics? I'd rather not talk about fatass." Kyle suggested.

"Oh gee alright then…w-well uhh how's your flour sack baby?" Butters said.

"Well it's fine actually, Me and Kyle are taking turns on where Larry stays for the night, I was the one who took it home yesterday, I played videogames with him and gave him a "pretend" bath and stuff…" Stan answered.

"You seem like a good dad, Stan" Kyle smiled.

"Y-yeah…" Stan blushed.

"Dude, I think what Stan's trying to say is…"Kyle you seem like a good mom too"." Kenny said.

"Mom? What the hell Kenny? I am a guy!" Kyle snapped.

"Yup but if we were to talk about who tops or bottoms you're technically the mppphhff" Kenny's words was quickly caught off as Stan quickly pulled Kenny's hood on his head.

"So anyway, how about you and Kenny's flour sack Butters?" Stan said as he finally let go of Kenny.

"Well it's been pretty swell, as you can see I dressed up little Scrottie here in an adorable bunny onesie, I used to have a similar one when I was younger." Butters happily answered bringing the sack closer to his chest.

"Scrottie?" Stan and Kyle simultaneously asked.

"I named him Scrottie, because he's a sack...like a testicle!" Kenny grinned; he had his hood down again.

"And Butters let you?" Stan asked raising an eyebrow.

"Of course, he's innocent and- woah woah woah wait a minute, Butters what's that on your arm?" Kenny asked.

"W-What do you mean Kenny? Oh." Butters said until he noticed a white powdery substance on his shirt…it took the four boys a while until they realized what that is.

"Oh Fuck, Please tell me that isn't from Scrottie." Kenny panicked.

"Quick Butters, check if there's any holes on Scrottie!" Kyle said.

Butters quickly checked the sack for any holes or damages, it took quite a while until he found it. It was near the sides measuring only half an inch, it looked more like slash rather than a hole, but a considerable amount of white powdery substance leaked from it.

"Butters…"

"Oh Hamburgers…what is it Kenny?"

"We're fucked."

* * *

It was still early morning and few students had yet to arrive, Token sat on Clyde's chair waiting for the brunette to arrive and when he finally did, he was surprised to see what Clyde held in his hands.

"Clyde…What the fuck." Token facepalmed as he saw his and Clyde's flour sack baby, it was dressed in a black corset top and its hair was a mix of black, red and purple. Token cringed at the sight; He knew that he shouldn't have trusted Clyde to take care of the sack even for just one night.

"What?" Clyde asked innocently.

"What the hell did you do to it?" Token said.

"I dressed HER up, she's even more beautiful now!" Clyde replied.

"No, you turned it into some sort of weird Goth."

"Pfffth, Ebony isn't a lame Goth….She's a Goff." Clyde corrected.

"What the hell is a Goff? Wait you know what? Never mind don't answer that… just give it to me, I don't trust you with it."

"Noooo" Clyde whined, but it was ignored as his beloved Ebony was taken away by Token.

Token responded by lightly slapping Clyde in the face.

"Ow." Clyde cried.

"We're supposed to be parents, you shouldn't monopolize our child."

"Speak for yourself; you said you didn't trust me with her." Clyde agreed, rubbing the cheek Token slapped.

"Alright, fine I am sorry for being a hypocrite, but dude there's no way I'll allow you to dress up our flour sack as a Goth chick." Token said

"She's not a go-mmmphhh" Before Clyde could finish his sentence, Token covered Clyde's mouth cutting him off from speaking.

"Yeah, I know…she's not a Goth she's a Goff." Token said as he removed his hands from Clyde's mouth.

"Well glad to know, that you're at least listening."

"Listen Clyde, I am not going to fail this project and neither are you, we're going to be awesome parents, just please don't fucking dress our flour sack up as a Goth uhh I mean Goff girl."

Clyde sighed then nodded. "Alright fine, I'll stop dressing our Ebony up but only if you try reading the story I was telling you about."

"Oh God, No." Token groaned.

"At least give it a chance!"

"Will you promise that once read it, you'll stop dressing our flour sack up in ridiculous clothes?"

"Yes."

"Then it's a deal." Token sighed, Clyde smiled then shook Token's hands to seal the deal. Token couldn't help but smile back. He liked it with Clyde smiles like that, a smile that mean actual happiness instead of stupidity, then again he like Clyde's dumbness too it was kind of cute...hell he liked everything about his dumb brunet friend.

Craig and Tweek then arrived, the latter was holding their flour sack which had no decorations whatsoever, the only thing which differentiates it from a regular flour sack is the signature of Mr. Garrison written at its side.

"Oh hey guys, what's up?" Clyde merrily asked.

Craig however just flipped him off with a blank stare and Tweek just twitched nervously in response.

"How pleasant." Token deadpanned.

"W-what are you guys holding hands for?" Tweek questioned while staring and pointing at Token and Clyde's hand which were still intertwined.

Clyde realized that he and Token were still awkwardly holding hands, so he quickly let go. "Nothing." he answered.

An awkward silence then surrounded the four; that is until a certain brunette spoke up.

"So is that supposed to be your flour sack? Why is it so plain and boring? Oh wait lemme guess Craig wouldn't let you decorate it huh?" Clyde said pointing to the sack Tweek was holding.

"Y-yeah." Tweek nodded bashfully.

"Man, Craig you're such a fucking stick in the mud, you should have at least named it." Clyde said.

Craig glared at Clyde and flipped him off again while Tweek spoke up "Uh we actually d-did name it…well, no Craig did but…-gah-" Tweek muttered.

"Really? What did you name it?" Token asked, He was genuinely curious on what name Craig had thought up for their flour sack.

"F-flour Sack…" Tweek answered shyly.

Another awkward silenced loomed around the four, thankfully Clyde was there to once again break it.

"Dude…I don't know whether to laugh or feel sorry for Tweek."

"Fuck off…" Craig sighed. "I just don't understand why everyone is obsessed with decorating and dressing up some stupid floursack, since when do teenagers like doing that sort of shit? It's like everyone's out of character...I am kind of suspecting that all the 11th grade students are high."

"You're just being a hipster Craig." Clyde said.

"No, I am being the only sane man in this story." Craig snapped back.

"Well at least consider what Tweek feels, you are partners after all…what if he wanted to decorate your flour sack and you wouldn't let him do it? That's pretty asshole-ish, oh wait you're Craig that's normal."

Craig was quiet; he first flipped of Token then he looked at Tweek who looked back at him with huge eyes.

"Well did you?" Craig said.

"Did I w-what?" Tweek asked.

"Want to decorate the lame flour sack?"

"Gah! Y-yeah." Tweek twitched. "But…Since you didn't want to...well I didn't mind, because at least you're happy and that's all that m-matters to me because if you aren't then I f-fear -ngg- that I'll soon be dead. -ack-"

"That's kind of sweet, aside from soon be dead part." Craig said, His voice was lacking in emotion but he meant well.

"Thanks." Tweek mumbled, blushing slightly.

"Get a room you guys! You're gaying up the place!" Clyde teased.

"Weren't you holding hands and staring into Token's eyes a while ago? That's pretty gay too don't you think?" Craig deadpanned.

A blush soon formed at Clyde's cheeks. "NO! That was because we had a deal, that was different." Clyde said defensively.

"Keep telling yourself that." Craig shrugged.

"Clyde we got to admit we did look pretty gay back then." Token spoke up.

"No Token, we need to protect our manliness, we're not gay!" Clyde snapped.

"Oh, Then I guess it's pretty bad timing to say that I am a little bit gay for you huh? Oh well." Token chuckled, walking away to his chair.

"What." The other three said.

"What."

"What!?"

Somewhere in the far distance, Shiela Broflovski felt a disturbance...she felt the need to think of another catchphrase as she felt that someone had used hers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just like in Cup of Love, I am dumping the first four chapters, the next update I will probably post next week or the week after that. Thank you for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

It was seven-thirty in the morning and it's almost time for the 11th grade class to start, two blonde boys belonging to that said class however stood inside a bathroom cubicle desperately trying to fix a certain problem.

"Uhh K-Kenny?"

"Yes Butters?" Kenny replied with a hint of annoyance in his voice.

"I don't think that this is a very good idea..."

"Well it'll have to do for now." Kenny grumpily answered, snatching the duct tape from the other boy's hand.

"But d-didn't Mr. Garrison said that just one trace of–."

"Yes Butters, I know…but fuck that's the least we can do for now, Oh and clean up your shirt you still have some white stuff on you." Kenny said, then realized something. "Hehe, that sounds dirty."

Butters just nodded, he exited the cubicle and walked up to the sink trying to get rid of the white powdery stain from his light blue jacket.

Kenny eventually followed holding a now patched up Scrottie in his hands, "Well I don't know if duct tape would hold out for long but that's the best we could do." He then put on Scrottie's bunny onesie back on in an attempt to hide the obvious silver tape covering the tiny hole.

"Don't you know how to sew? If we sew the hole up it'll be less obvious than."

"Gee K-Kenny, I am not that girly am I? Besides you're the one who took Home Ec. back then, shouldn't you be the one who knows how? " Butters timidly asked.

"I only attended that class for like three days before Ms. Pearl kicked me out, besides the only shit she was teaching is how to be a successful golddigger." Kenny answered.

"Well golly, did they really teach you how to dig for gold? That seems cooler than Shop Class; we only got to mess around with weird metals and pointy tools…But oh, if you learned how to dig for gold then shouldn't you be r-rich right now? No offense but you're still hecka poor compared to the rest of us. "

"Butters your innocence is extremely annoying yet somewhat adorable at the same time, that attitude is extremely attractive...and would lead people to believe that you're easy to coerce into sexual favors." Kenny teased.

"Oh hamburgers, I don't want to get r-raped!" Butters panicked.

"Ah, ignore what I said it's a horrible joke anway but I got to admit your reaction earlier kinda reminded me of Tweek…speaking of which I wonder if Craig already confessed to him? The two have gotten pretty chummy but knowing Craig I bet he just forced himself onto Tweek and is now assuming they're together and Tweek's just confused or just threatened, either way I should do something about that, those guys need help."

"W-What are you talking about?" Butters asked.

"Oh nothing just playing some matchmaking game of some sort, which reminds me… I still have to hook up Stan and Kyle." Kenny replied.

"Do you mean that Stan and Kyle…Craig and Tweek…they're all gay? How can you be so s-sure?"

"I just do Butters, I think it has something to do with me being a japanese princess...Anyway even if that's not the case I can feel that they do have these feelings for each other, they just don't know it themselves yet." Kenny answered smugly; he was amused with Butters' queries.

"But w-why are you doing that…matchmaking and all, are you secretly some kind of cupid?" Butters asked some more.

"Nope I am not some cupid, I just like the feeling of helping people who obviously like each other but too dumb to hook up, I like seeing love flourish, you know passion and stuff? It sounds incredibly cheesy but I dunno it makes me feel happy to see two people bond. But anyway the best part is the awkward sexual tension, it's hilarious! And then when the two finally get together and they finally do it and stuff…they'll have this sexy afterglow and yeah you know they did it and teasing them when they're at that state is fun, also there's the part where I'll be able to watch them make out and stuff from a tree or so and yeah that's awesome!" Kenny explained.

"Isn't the last part kind of like voyeurism?" Butters just mumbled,

"Maybe, but I don't care." Kenny looked at Butters and smiled. "Do you need help with someone too? I could hook you up, who's the guy? Or girl? I dunno I am going to assume it's a guy though, no offense…"

Butters blushed heavily at Kenny's words, He then shook his head and looked away. "I-I think we should get back to class, Kenny…"

"Ah yeah right! I hope Garrison doesn't notice the duct tape, it's not visible under Scrottie's clothes but still we have to be careful and hope that he doesn't look underneath its clothes, I'll just ask Karen to sew the hole for me when I get home."

"O-okay."

When the two boys arrived back to class, Mr. Garrison had already arrived. He gave the two blondes a mean glare before asking them where they'd been.

"We were at the bathroom sir!" Butters hastily answered. He was jittery and nervous, if Mr. Garrison found out about the hole then he'll give us an F, Butters thought. He feared that once he received an F, his father who after 6-7 years still haven't gotten tired of grounding his only son will once again ground him, and boy as the years pass being grounded gets worse.

"And what were you doing there?" Mr. Garrison accused.

"What else do you do on a bathroom?" Kenny shrugged, he was getting mildly annoyed and was itching to go back on his seat.

"Hah! You fags probably went for quick fuck." Cartman spoke up, he was laughing hard while the rest of the students just stared at him.

"I am not a fag fatass, Butter is…" Kenny answered dully.

"W-well It's true that I do like Harleys, but I am not fag yet, I am bike-curious, I mentioned this b-before." Butters shyly answered.

"Will everyone just please shut up and get back to your seats, Ugh you fuckheads are giving me a headache" Mr. Garrison said, he was having another one of his man-PMS.

"Anyway, I'll check your flour sacks now for damages and shit, I am guessing that some of you had already destroyed it huh." Mr. Garrison smiled evilly looking at Cartman who smiled back.

"Dude I think Cartman and Mr. Garrison has a thing going on…" Stan whispered to Kyle who was fondly brushing Larry's hair like some sort of Mother tending to her child.

"Ugh eew, I did not want to hear that." Kyle whispered back.

"No man, not in that way…I meant like they have a secret deal."

"What do you mean?"

"I dunno but they're kind of suspicious…"

"I honestly couldn't care less about fatass, just ignore them."

"Yeah I-I Guess…"

Mr. Garrison continued to inspect each pair's flour sacks looking very intently at its faces and weight, unfortunately no flour sack has yet to have some sort of damage which made him even angrier, he was starting to think that making a deal with Cartman wasn't such a good idea after all.

Meanwhile the two blondes were silently panicking as their turn for inspection is almost up and Mr. Garrison seems pretty serious about it. Kenny almost wished he would die right now to escape the faith of getting an F but thought that it wasn't worth it since Butters would be left alone and he would feel guilty for the little guy.

"Alright, Butters, Kenny where's your sack?"

"Gah!" Butters and Kenny simultaneously yelped, this seems to have caught the attention of the rest of the class as that phrase was usually said by Tweek and not Butters or Kenny.

"He-Here!" Butters nervously answered, as he pushed Scrottie towards Mr. Garrison.

Mr. Garrison inspected the sack thoroughly, he carefully searched every detail hoping to find at least a tiny bit of sign that it was damaged but luckily he had failed to do so… he then grumpily set it back down and placed a red check mark on their report.

"Oh Jesus!" The two blonde boys sighed, as they were relieved that Mr. Garrison had failed to take notice of the hole.

"Why the fuck are you two so nervous? Oh God It's like there's three annoying twitchy blondes now." Mr. Garrison said as he walked pass the two and went towards BeBe and Wendy's flour sack, He didn't seem to notice that Craig had angrily flipped him the bird during his last sentence.

"B-boy Kenny, I sure am relieved…" Butters whispered.

"Y-yeah." Kenny nodded as he put on his hood to muffle his voice, at least for now their problem was solved, Hopefully Scrottie doesn't have any more holes.

Kenny sighed, then out of a very corner of his eye he saw once again small amounts of white powdery substance dusted on Butter's Jacket. Oh shit did he just jinx himself?

He sure as hell hope that it wasn't what he think it is.

"Butters?" Kenny whispered.

"Y-yeah?" Butters whispered back.

"Please tell me that's cocaine and not Scrottie."

"Wh-What's up with Token and Clyde?"

Tweek asked Craig whilst sipping a Styrofoam cup of his beloved coffee, the two watched as Token chased after Clyde in the hallways, the two running around in a never ending circle. Ever since the whole thing earlier Clyde had been avoiding Token refusing to even glance at his direction, Token however still acts the same as he usually does, and is now trying to talk to the brunette to talk him down.

"Who cares?" Craig shrugged looking down at Tweek which he then immediately regret as the twitchy blonde was now pouting and showing him his adorable large eyes.

"I do." Tweek answered surprisingly without twitching.

Craig sighed, "Well you were there earlier…It's probably about the Token being gay for Clyde thing, I think it's personal and we shouldn't interfere besides the readers had enough of Tyde, I think they want some Creek action for this chapter."

"Wh-what are you talking about?"

"Nothing." Craig replied.

Awkward silence wrapped around the two, both of them aren't the type of person to start conversations, and now they find themselves having nothing to talk about.

"Nng."

"Anytime now…" Craig said impatiently, as if waiting for something.

"W-what?" Tweek questioned.

"Yep some Craig x Tweek action…is coming up."

"Uh…C-Craig?"

"…"

"Craig?"

"Fuck." Craig yelled out, this caught the attention of the twitchy blonde beside him who almost spilled the coffee in his hands in surprise.

"W-what?"

"We're not getting any action are we?"

Before Tweek could question what Craig had said, out of nowhere came Kenny and Butters running towards them at full speed.

"Fellas!" Butters panted out. "D'you have any tape or glue or sewing skills or whatever?"

"Gah! No!" Tweek yelped.

"Shit, Come on Butters, let's ask someone else." Kenny said.

"What's that on your shirt?" Craig spoke up pointing at Butters' jacket, the tiny specks of white stains before had now multiplied in amount.

"Oh hamburgers!" Butters said.

"Don't tell Garrison but our sack has got a shit ton of holes in it, and I don't even know how…" Kenny whispered.

"O-Oh jesus man! Do you know what will h-happen if Mr. Garrison finds out? You'll get an F man, y-you won't be able to graduate! You -nng- won't be able to get a job, you'll be homeless and forced to wander the streets…Ack t-think of all the diseases!" Tweek panicked.

"Tweek, dude you're not helping…" Kenny said.

"Ack sorry…Oh w-wait can I see that for a second?" Tweek asked

Tweek shakily walked towards Butters and the slowly dying Scrottie, he inspected it and took some of the loose white powder forming around its sides with his index finger.

"Oh." Tweek's eyes widened up upon having further inspected the substance.

"What?" The other three asked, curious on what discovery the spazzy blonde has made.

"Gah! No-nothing, didn't you say you guy w-were looking for tape or glue? I t-think Wendy has some." Tweek nervously replied.

The other blondes gave him a skeptical look but eventually went on their way, after realizing that Tweek was just probably being his normal spazzy weird self.

"What's that all about?" Craig asked, as soon as the two were once again alone.

"I-I just wanted to verify something, its b-been bugging me ever since we -nng- got this project."

"Tell me."

Tweek looked at Craig straight in the eyes pleading him no, but unfortunately he failed to do so, He sighed and nodded in defeat.

"O-okay."

"I am telling you dude, something is up!"

"I already told you I didn't care Stan, why'd you have to drag me along?"

"Because you're my best friend and best friends do weird stuff together." Stan told Kyle, the two were now snooping outside the window of their supposedly empty classroom.

"Oh wait shit, there they are hide!" Stan whispered as the two crouched down and hid.

"Fucking hell, Eric…you're useless!" A voice presumably Mr. Garrison's yelled out.

"Okay, screw what I said earlier this is actually kind of fun now." Kyle chuckled to Stan.

"You're just too impatient Mr. Garrison, I have a plan you know? I call it Operation Cannot Possibly Fail and it's named like that for a reason." Cartman smugly said

"I don't care about your plan, if you don't finish the job at that end of the month then…"

"No worries! My plan has already been started and is slowly taking effect, soon you'll get what you want." Cartman assured him.

"Did you hear that?" Stan whispered.

"Yeah, dude you were right, something is up with those two…that fucking fatass is up to no good again."

"Let's listen in some more."

The two tried to look at the window again but were surprised to see two pairs of eyes looking right back at them.

"Shit" Stan and Kyle simultaneously said.

"Were you listening in on us?" Mr. Garrison glared.

Instead of answering the two other boys ran and escaped as if they were being chased by hordes of giant destructive guinea pigs in cute costumes.


	4. Chapter 4

Mr. Garrison watched Stan and Kyle as they ran away in fear, He wondered how much the two boys have heard from his discussion with Eric, Goddamn if they tell on him his plan would be ruined, Mr. Garrison thought.

"Well fan-fucking-tastic, now those two know, I told you we should have met up in a more secluded place!" Mr. Garrison yelled.

"Shhhh, Don't worry Mr. Garrison, It's all going according to my plan." Cartman said as he held his chubby index finger to Mr. Garrison's lips. "And also like hell am I going to go somewhere secluded with you, I still don't trust you that much, with you being gay and all."

"Goddamit Eric, I am not gay! I told you this before, and what exactly is your plan anyway? Like I said earlier, I still haven't seen any destroyed flour sacks, they're all in perfect shape!" Mr. Garrison snapped.

"Well I can't tell you the details but I've already started on my first victims, Kenny and Butters…How dare those two choose each other over me, I bet those queers are working together against me, or they're fucking…both is possible." Cartman answered.

"Oh really? What did you to their sacks?" Mr. Garrison asked intrigued.

Cartman chuckled evilly instead of answering his teacher's question then spoke in a very smug voice "I already told you Mr. Garrison, I can't tell you any details…besides you'll see the results soon enough."

Mr. Garrison gave Cartman a skeptical look, but then soon shrugged it off and left the chubby boy alone in the empty classroom.

"Soon." Cartman whispered evilly.

* * *

"Okay, it's done!" Karen gleefully said as she finished stitching up the last hole on Scrottie, She then gave it back to her beloved older brother and smiled.

"Thanks Karen, I have no idea what I would do without you." Kenny smiled back.

"It's okay Kenny, What happened to Scrottie anyway?" Karen asked.

"I don't really know but he keeps getting holes, and I am not really the one who takes care of him so I can't exactly say what happened, If anything… Butters might know since he had Scrottie stay with him the most." Kenny answered.

"You think Butters did it?" Karen raised an eye brow at her brother's response.

"Well not exactly…But Butters can be clumsy and an airhead sometimes, so there's a possibility that he may have done something accidentally bad to it, I am not saying that he did it on purpose." Kenny said.

"But wouldn't Butters tell you if he did so?" Karen asked.

"Yeah…but…"

"I am disappointed in you big bro, I thought Butters was your friend, why don't you trust him?" Karen pouted. "Butters is a nice, friendly and caring person, he wouldn't ruin your project."

Kenny stared at his sister, who seems to be slightly mad at him for some reason, he then nodded and smiled "Alright alright, Butters didn't do it…I trust him, he's a really nice guy."

"Yup that's right" Karen nodded, crossed her arms in a smug manner, then smiled back at her brother.

"Well I am glad that we have come to an agreement…but why are you so defensive for Butters anyway? Do you like him or something?" Kenny asked.

Instead of answering Karen just looked away from his brother's questioning gaze, her face was slightly red and she was now fidgeting.

"Oh, I see…So my baby sister's got a little something for a certain Mantequilla, I didn't know you like blue eyed blondes, kind of weird since I am kind of one too…no incest." Kenny joked.

"Noooo it's not that like that!" Karen blushed, "Well yeah I guess I kind of do like him… since he's really nice and kind…

"He is isn't he? He's kind of cute too don't you think?" Kenny teased.

"Y-yeah, so how is he as a partner Kenny? Does he care for Scrottie as much as you do?"

"Hmm? Well yeah he is. He's really nice, he takes care of Scrottie as if it was his real child, he's really passionate about the smallest and most insignificant things and I think that's really adorable. He also thinks of me as an equal, he thinks that I actually can help him not like the others who thinks that whenever they get paired with me on a project they'll fail, He treats me different from others yet somehow equal to himself…I can't explain it but it's really neat! When he looks at you with his big blue eyes as if you're really important and mean something in this world…it's nice."

"Oh…"

"What?" Kenny asked her sister, who seemed to be now deep in thought.

"I guess we're siblings after all." Karen said.

"Well yeah…wait what do you mean?"

"Well Kenny it seems to be that you also have a thing for Butters too, the way you explained everything about him is kind of how a person explains why they love someone…it's really cute! I don't mind if you two got together instead." Karen smiled.

"Dude…no, what are you talking about Karen? I don't like him that way…sure I like him in a friend sense but not like as in I want to be in a relationship with him."

"Oh really? Heehee, but you're blushing! You might not realize it now but sooner or later you will, trust me I know these things!"

"No you don't, Just because you read too many romance novels and gay fanfiction doesn't mean that you're now some amazing romance guru! A-anyway I am going to go to my room, Oh and don't worry I won't tell Butters about your little crush." Kenny said playfully.

"Okay sure, but please do tell him about yours…" Karen teased.

* * *

"Shit, we're going to be in so much trouble tomorrow…" Stan said while handing his best friend a can of soda he had retrieved from the fridge.

The two had ran away from Mr. Garrison, and was now hiding in Stan's room, both were tired and panting. They had been caught listening in on Mr. Garrison's private conversation with Cartman, Apparently Mr. Garrison hired Cartman to do something for him, and because they were caught spying while Mr. Garrison and Cartman talk about that "Something" They were bound to get in trouble.

"We're going to have to think of an excuse then, how about we say we we're just playing around and then he accidentally found us in the bushes." Stan suggested.

"No way man, that's stupid…besides we ran away from him, he knows that we know something."

"Why was he making a deal with Cartman anyway?

"I don't know what they're exactly planning and whether it's good or bad, but I am pretty sure it's bad since Cartman is involved"

"Well if your theory is correct then something bad is going to happen to our flour sacks is that it?" Stan questioned.

"Mr. Garrison said that nothing has happened yet so we can assume that the thing they are planning has yet to happen…we have to put a stop on it."

"Put a stop on it, why? Dude we don't know shit on what they're on about and if we go about interfering things that we don't know about then we're going to get screwed!" Stan said.

"Because I am not letting Cartman get away with anything…I am pretty sure that fatass is up to no good, and we can't really trust our teacher do we? So whatever they're planning I am putting a stop on it." Kyle yelled.

"Fine! Do what you want to do, But I am not helping you…We're already in big trouble for spying around and I sure as hell don't want to be in an even more bigger trouble just because I want to put a stop on Cartman."

'What the hell man? I thought we were friends? We are already screwed to begin with… and besides we have to stop fatass or something bad is going to happen!"

"No man, I am not going to help you, your obsession and rivalry with Cartman is pissing me off, All you ever want to do is be better than Cartman that you even unconsciously mention him sometimes…It's really annoying. It's like when we're together it always about how you hate Cartman and how you're better than him…I hate him too but I choose to ignore him, What does Cartman have that you always have to talk about him?"

"Stan…I.."

"What?!"

"Are you Jealous?" Kyle asked.

"N…N…NO What the fuck are you talking about? Stan's face went a little red at Kyle's words he then looked around furiously in his room trying to get his mind off things…and then he realized something.

"SHIT, LARRY."

"What about, Larry?" Kyle asked confused.

"I could have sworn I was holding him when we were listening in on Mr. Garrison's conversation…fuck did I drop him?

"Goddamit Stan, Where the hell did you drop him? Ugh we have to find him right away! We'll be screwed" Kyle said in a panicked voice.

Kyle then began to search around in Stan's room hoping that maybe Stan had brought Larry home and hadn't dropped him.

"Oh wow look who cares now, I thought you didn't care if we're screwed?" Stan said rolling his eyes.

"Fuck you dude…I actually like Larry okay? He's like my own child and not to mention yours too, Will you stop being a jealous bitch and help me find him?' Kyle snapped back

"Fine, but I am still mad at you…I only care about Larry so I am going to help you."

"Whatever man, just help me…"

"And besides I don't even remember if I actually brought him home, there's a chance that I may have actually dropped him outside while we were running…I think we should also search outside."

"Ugh I hate you so much right now…Stan"

"Same to you Kyle, Well are we going to look for Larry outside or not?"

Kyle sighed with an annoyed look on his face…"Let's go..."

* * *

Token and Clyde are currently walking home from school, the two had been quiet but the latter even more so, Clyde was keeping quite a distance from Token, and there was an extremely awkward aura vibe around them which annoyed Token…he finally decided to speak up.

"Clyde"

"..."

"Clyde"

"…"

'Clyde!"

"…"

"Clyde what the hell is wrong with you? You've been avoiding me the whole time during class. Was it something I said?" Token asked.

"….."

"Still no reply huh? What can I dofor you so that you may finally speak up? I am seriously missing that annoyingly nasal voice of yours" Token teased.

Clyde looked at Token and slowly opened his mouth as if he were going to say something but then quickly closed it shook his head then looked away.

"What were you going to say? Token asked but Clyde once again shook his head.

"Oh come on~ Clyde I was joking about the whole being gay for you part, no need to be so pissy and homophobic ….calm your tits" Token joked once again.

Clyde didn't respond he still continued to look way from Token eyeing the various things such as trees, streetlights and people they walk pass by.

Token got increasingly annoyed at his friend's silence, It was very unlike him to be this quiet…usually the dumbass would be non-stop talking shit about what happened that day and other similar things Token doesn't really care about. Today was different however since the idiot wasn't talking to him and was uncharacteristically stoic and distant, Token felt really guilty…since he knew that he was to blame.

"Clyde…"

"…."

Token sighed, and grew quiet…Clyde's silence was epidemic. That is until Token thought of something, something that he knew he would regret saying but would definitely get his dumb brunette of a friend to speak up. "Ugh I can't believe I am saying this…."

Clyde looked up at him his eyes look genuinely curious yet a little bit unsure. Token took this chance to speak up, "Clyde…What I-I-If I read that story you have been talking about before? Yes the Goth…err I mean Goff story, would that make you speak up?"

Clyde's eyes widened with a look of amazement, he hurriedly dug through his backpack to retrieve a pen and a notebook in which he hastily scribbled something on, when he was done he quickly showed Token what he had wrote.

YES! But only if I read it with you so I know that you actually did read it, oh and also if you let me dress Ebony up again in her Goff clothes, only then will I speak to you.

Token looked at the words his friend had wrote, for fucks sake he wasn't actually planning on really reading it, but now he had to because Clyde wanted to read it with him, and now he also had to get their flour sack to dress in goth clothes again…But then again Clyde did say yes, and fucking hell did he miss Clyde's idiotic rants even if he had only just stopped talking for seven hours.

"Fine." Token said unenthusiastically.

Clyde smiled, nodded his head then began to write more words into the paper.

Deal, let's go to your house to read the story, Also I want to have dinner there since all the shit my Dad cooks is horrible, Also I want pizza…

PS: ALSO GIVE ME 10 BUCKS

Token read the things written and sighed, it seems to be that the conditions to make Clyde speak is increasingly getting longer and harder like a very aroused penis, but if it was the only to get Clyde to talk to him again…then so be it.

"Let's go asshole."

And the two went on their way to Token's house or rather mansion…

* * *

Meanwhile Craig and Tweek were also walking home from school albeit in a different route from Token and Clyde's

"Wait…" Craig spoke up, this made Tweek stop in his track.

"W-What's wrong?" Tweek asked tilting his head slightly and looking at Craig with adorable large eyes.

"Can I go home with you?" Craig replied.

"W-Why…A-Are you going to murder me? Ack you know that Mom and Dad aren't home right now don't you? And you want t-to corner me in my own home and m-murder me don't you? Argh I wasn't supposed -nng- to say that…now you definitely know if you didn't b-before…ah please don't rape my corpse after killing me." Tweek rambled.

"What the fuck are you talking about?!" Craig flipped Tweek off which made the blonde boy twitch in response. "I am not going to do any of that…I just had nothing better to do so I decided that I want to go to a friend's house. Jeez, if you really didn't want me to go to your house then just say so."

"O-oh, S-sorry man…You just, you can never be too safe you know? I guess it's okay that you come along with me, But there isn't really that much stuff to do there, are you sure you want to come?"

"Yes." Craig said in a monotone voice.

"A-Alright…"

The two walked towards Tweek's house it wasn't too much of a walk from the spot were Craig had spoken up, and so they arrived at Tweek's house in no time.

"Well here we a-are…" Tweek said, he opened the door to his home and walked straight to kitchen, leaving the door open and not even bothering to ask Craig to come in.

"You know leaving the door open isn't really safe, strangers could get in…" Craig said to Tweek who seems to not have heard him as he already hurried to the kitchen.

Craig gently closed and locked the front door, then made his way towards the Kitchen.

"Coffee?" Tweek offered, He was brewing a fresh batch of coffee and had an empty mug in his hand, on top of the dining table is Flour Sack sitting upright like he was alive and totally not inanimate.

"Sure why not…" Craig said, normally he doesn't drink coffee but he was genuinely curious of what the coffee that Tweek made tasted like.

"O-okay…" Tweek nodded as he took a blue mug from the cupboard and handed it to Craig.

"Blue?" Craig said as he eyed the empty mug in his hands.

"Ack! Do you want a different mug?"

"No, not really…but I do want to ask you something." Craig shifted his gaze from the mug to Tweek's eyes.

"I-I don't know the password to the money vault, please don't -nng- kill me!" Tweek panicked

"No you spazz, I am not asking about that…I don't even know your family had a money vault." Craig flipped off Tweek again but this time Tweek sighed in relief instead of twitching, relief that Craig wasn't going to rob him.

"Do you like me?" Craig asked.

"W-What?"

"Do you like me? …Do you like me more than a friend?" Craig asked once again.

"I…" Tweek's face visibly reddened, He was about to say something when Craig spoke up.

"You know…I have been asking Kenny for relationship advice, yes I know it's really weird for me to do so…shut up and let me speak. He told me that I should tell you how I feel and to be honest I don't really know what I feel, It's like one minute I find you annoying then next adorable and interesting…and just I don't know anymore."

"I really haven't decided on whether I actually like you that way or just mere infatuation but fuck it I am tired of the author skipping our character and romance development, like don't you realize how far behind we are with development compared to the rest of the ships?

"But anyway in short I like you in that way but I am just not completely sure of it…and because I am a little bit jealous that the others are beginning to get some action I decided that I should just fuck it and straight up talk to you…and that maybe if you feel the same way then I'll be able to develop my love for you…fuck that sounded cheesy and retarded as hell...maybe even selfish but fuck it I think I like you." Craig ended.

Tweek who finally had the chance to spoke up. "Actually I d-didn't understand half of w-what you were talking about…but I did understood parts of it, I don't think I am ready for a relationship man, and you make me extremely nervous, to be honest…

"Oh."

"But I don't think it's wrong and I am not entirely against the idea...so we can t-try?" Tweek finished off by blushing even harder then looking away from Craig.

"Are you saying that you want us to hook up? Is that a yes?" Craig asked blatantly

Instead of answering Tweek just shyly nodded his head, still looking away from Craig.

"Are you sure?" Craig raised an eyebrow at Tweek not really sure if what the blonde said was true.

"ACK! YES I AM CRAIG!" Tweek yelled out, he then slowly walked towards Craig and gave him a rather awkward hug.

"You smell like coffee…" Craig said as he hugged back, feeling the warm embrace of the other boy.

"I-I probably taste like it t-too." Tweek shyly replied.

"Really?" Craig asked curiously, his mind grew sluggish from the hug, which prompted him to not think straight; and kiss Tweek on the lips.

"Gah!"

"Shit, sorry…I was uh…"

"Oh uh…its fine, I-It was kind of nice…" Tweek looked away, he felt rather confused but he was smiling and blushing.

"Oh…Wow I got more action than any of the other pairings in this story combined fuck them, Creek is winning."

"W-what are you talking about now?" Tweek questioned, the redness still visible in his cheeks

"Nothing…" Craig dismissed.

"I-I am not really sure how this will -nng- work out but let's try okay?" Tweek shyly said blushing red.

"Yeah…" Craig smiled, It was a rare event when apathetic asshole Craig Tucker smiled, but when he does it's only for the most important people around him, and right now Tweek was currently the most important, beating stripe and his family…Tweek doesn't know how lucky he was to be in that place.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this is the last chapter of the dump, see you in the next update! And thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Thank you for reading.
> 
> *This is a reference to "My Immortal" The infamous Harry Potter fan fiction, Read it if you haven't read it before, It's hilarious.
> 
> Props to those who know what episode Stan and Kyle's floursack's name came from.


End file.
